Anyone seen a vol au vent recently? Once the staple - the king, even - of the buffet, between me and Mrs D we've had three corporate type buffets this week and not seen a single one. What happened? Did the vol au vent crop fail this year? I want a vol au vent!

Vol-au-vents are passé, along with pork pie, sausage rolls and open sandwiches. It's all onion bhajis and chicken satay kebabs now, dontcha know...

Hopefully it's a sign that things are evolving for the good.

There must be land-fill sites somewhere full of the bleeding things.

They are usually 'last man standing' at buffets.

You need an invite to this years Harrogate Conservative Club Xmas party.



The blue rinsers bake them for fun.

I was in Munich on Tuesday for a conference, they served vol-au-vents with lunch. Not that I had one.



I got home ok but my colleagues got stranded overnight because of the heavy snow. Wish I'd been stuck, there was a nice Xmas market at the airport, the snow was drifting down, the sausages were hot and the beer was frothy.

If the craving gets too much M&S is your friend.



[urlhttp://www.marksandspencer.com/Marks-and-Spencer-Deep-Filled-Vol-Au-Vents/dp/B007Y924UE?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_1&nodeId=42966030&sr=1-1&qid=1355507540&pf_rd_r=0AYMWH30AG6MZWSRA67Y&pf_rd_m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&pf_rd_t=301&pf_rd_i=0&pf_rd_p=321381407&pf_rd_s=-3[/url

Vol au vents, the arch enemy of saliva.

What you need my friend is a Geordie party, or "porty".



When I lived in the land of my wife's borth it was to my eternal fear and loathing that in approximately one weekend in three she'd come home and announce that we were invited to someone's borthday porty in tha clerb, for there would always be a predictable DJ and his portable disco ball, and several tables pushed together groaning under the weight of "tha boofet", acres and acres of cheese savoury and egg mayonaise sandwiches, sausage rolls from Greggs that had been cut into six small pieces, platters of corned beef and potato pie, and the vol au vents, thousands of them, little parcels of pastry with vomit inside them that could only be eaten when you were p1ssed enough to look at them and not think that they were pastry parcels of vomit - the only thing that was missing was a packet of Rennies at the end of the table.



Turn the music down DJ, turn up the clerb lights, announce that tha boofet is erpen and stand back or you'll get crushed in the first wave.

Your stereotyping of the Geordies is very insulting..



They have evolved in the last twenty years you know. They now drink Carling rather than broon ale and Archers has replaced snowballs as a nice genteel drink for ladeez.

Last place I worked use to make thousands of them and only for the Xmas market . I think they binned them a few years back because sales were dropping.

I bet if I went back to Tho Terrace Clerb the'neet there would be a borthday disco on with vol au vents sitting threatening you from a trestle table.

There is nothing remotely passé about a proper pork pie.



Nothing.



Never.



Still, you could always have an Iceland prawn ring, or their new 'lasagna bites' (lasagna as finger food?

). Or there's the new Iceland cake filled with profiteroles and Baileys. Or the M&S prawn balls covered in croutons ...