Always buy soap on a rope - My Grandad when I joined the navy

Lager is for women and vicars.



Trust nothing you hear and only half of what you see.



Make sure you pay your rent, gas and electric. Everyone else can wait.



Just about the only advise my dear old pop ever gave me.

Regret nothing, just don't do it again. It's called experience.

Never do owt for nowt unless its for yourself.



Those that can do, those that can't teach.



God gave blokes a brain and a c*ck, but not enough blood to work them both at the same time !

Probably one of the most rediculous "words of wisdom" ever.



If nobody taught, nobody would learn.

As a father of a teacher, I totally agree, it's a stupid phrase.

It was he, but it is still true

Maybe I heard it from him but via you.

He'd still be at the bar.

Looking for his purse?

My old boss from Texas always says; 'Time flies when you're drunk as hell..'



Not sure, but he may have stolen that from the TV series, Dallas.

Rule of the 3 Fs:



If it flies, floats or does something else beginning with F, rent it. Don't buy it.

When standing at a bar in a crowd of other people all waiting to be served, you have but two chances to catch the bar tenders eye, after that he thinks you're just standing there and you become invisible to him.



Life experience #42