Whooooaaaaaaoooaaaahhhhh! LFJ whambaddammmm!

Not touch them in my life mate.

But I suppose for 80 minutes they won’t harm..

Hopefully I’ll pull off that form that had a Leeds scout praising me for running the length of the field and taking on a whole team if I get taken to France

Ok. You can play on one condition. You get some Edgar Davids glasses.

I noticed some of my finest comedy material disappeared yesterday, so I'm keeping my head down today. I haven't had any abusive PM's so I'll take that as a positive and go do some work.

I have... from some scouser called Pingu (or something) not a very bright lad TBH - I replied with a loving and caring PM.

Can I be H2O distribution officer please Daniel?

Adam Sandler-esque

"That's high qu-qu-quality H2O"

Anyway I prefer Gatorade

I'm only good enough to be seconds waterboy though, so your Jase hasn't had the chance to experience my skills yet.

I need to see you play first as you may be selected.

Not sure where you'll see me at like, student season is over.