BDO is joke darts, for joke players, I could beat some of those jokers and I've played darts twice.



I swear someone threw a score of 5 the other day, then 11.

Disagree.



This is one of the most tense sporting atmospheres you can possibly get at the third test this afternoon. It's great drama.



4.3 overs left, 3 wickets in hand. Come on England.

I love it. This test is a beauty.

That's live on Sky Sports 8 tomorrow. World Championships start.

You retiring and giving someone else a shot at glory?

I retired two years ago

I'll be retiring at 11.30pm this evening after a brandy, a cigar and a servicing from the mistress.

A nightclub? yes I've paid to get in a few in my time.

You didn't come with us to Widnes that time did you ?



The brand new satnav took us about 40 miles out of our way and we missed the kickoff

I could get a job as a commentator, what with me being a former world champion and all...



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I know, I never thought they'd read that comment of mine ten years ago about how I'd pay good money to watch people be fast asleep right through the night.

To watch blokes getting ed at the bar?

Pah. Sounds nothing like my effort of just over a year ago. 12 stitches and an impressive amount of blood. The dry cleaners were too polite to ask.

I think I did, It took us all around the M60 didn't it?

Yep, and then to Manchester Airport, I think the M6 get involved as well.



The satnav was having a day off.

Its a well known fact that women are crap at directions, so why put their voice into a sat nav. it would be better to put their voice in a guide to cooking or cleaning or ironing!

Women are not crap at directions. Men just tell us them wrong. ll women know that the correct way to tell directions is, for exammple, "Go past M+S, turn left at DP's etc" and USE things that we can see.

It is incorrect to say for example, "Go on the a538, then turn left at the junction with the A435.

WTF? Do roads have numbers on them for us to see??

erm, yes they do actually - those big green things you keep seeing as you drive along roads, no, not the signs for M&S, the other big green things, they are called "road signs" and they usually have the road number on them.

Yes, and they tend to be seen as we drive past them! The numbers should be painted on the roads. Alternatively, just tell us directions the correct way!

I thought they were painted on roads.

Ignore her mate, she's a woman, therefore once a month loses the ability of reasoned thinking, it must be around that time!









Poor Danny

SLAP time for you sunshine!

Fallen over yet?

As much as you're hoping I have, I hate to piddle on your bonfire but no I haven't! Still standing my friend!