To all the dyslexics on the forum just remember your cocks don’t go black this weekend

Teacher asks his class to come up with a sentence that uses the word contagious. Little Billy at the back of the class puts his hand up. With the lack of any other choice the teacher picks Billy. "Go on then Billy surprise me.".

Billy stands proudly and says "the other day my dad was watching our neighbour getting a delivery of gravel on his drive and he said I bet it takes the contagious to shift that".

Did you know that on the Canary islands there are no canaries?

It's exactly the same on the Virgin Islands - no canaries there either.

People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.

Hahaha very good. Also a shame

There was a young man from Leigh,
Who said he would empty the sea,
Before it was noon,
And that was quite soon,
He said, "I'll finish it off after tea"

What part of Leigh was he from.?

Big Al, lives on Brewery Lane.

Ha, you got me there Charlie, which is the most optimistic part?

What's the difference between a hippo and Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.