Ah my monday after work haunt, have they still got mould on the walls?

Indeed, part of the character. The dust amongst the old beer bottles lining the top shelf is an absolute art-form.
Some nice hand pulled Copper Dragon went down well though.
Just as well because the maths test I had to sit on the afternoon was equally as challenging.

Q. If you had ten apples and gave away three how many would you have left?

I am buying a litre bottle of Coke, binning, half of it and filling it up with 35cl of Smirnoff to get through next weeks installment.

Again, I poop you not!

Do you get an NUS card ?

Did the tutor have special pens and was her name Barbara?

Go on – I'll bite: what's the course and what's the supposed aim?

I swear they were trying to flog us them at a discounted £9 a throw.

Steve, ex-army, by the book to the point of pedantry.
I left him under no illuions after the first half hour of the first class!

He was trying to rally the troops (a mixture of young and old, several with obvious substance abuse problems) that the course was nothing to do with the DSS and we were all going to have a bit of fun and a jolly.
I cut his legs off early doors by pointedly informing him that is was opaquely apparent that neither myself or fellow students ( ) wanted to be there and the only reason for our attendance was that our JSA would be automatically sanctioned (basically stopped and left with fook all to live on) if we refused to turn up.

You aren't biting Minty, I'm telling you how it is.
Funny thing was I had to go and sign on yesterday so saw my jobcentre advisor.

Conversation -:

Jobcentre advisor - ''How are you finding the course Graeme?''

Me - Eyes open as wide as I can, just about to tell her.

Jobcentre advisor - Head shaking, ''We know we've already been told.........Can you sign here and I'll see you next week Graeme.''

I wasn't suggesting that you were inventing it – just asking what they call such a course and what on Earth they imagine making a tower out of paper is supposed to achieve, because my own imagination hasn't come up with any ideas.

It achieves a full time job for the course tutor and as its probably a contracted-out service it provides some nice government funding to a privately owned organisation who can then proudly boast that they are re-training lots of idle layabouts who were previously scrounging off the taxpayer, not that they themselves are scrounging off the taxpayer, oh no.