You can only p!ss with the cock you've got.

A former colleague of mine told me "never trust a man who wears grey shoes" and he was right!

You can talk to a man with a wooden leg, but you can't talk to one with a wooden head.

If you can't P155 up tall trees don't try running with the big dogs.

Those who don't do their paperwork properly end up with a dirty @rse.

Words of wisdom from an old boss of mine.

My favourite ones are are "you get what you pay for", "beggars can't be choosers" and "worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it keeps you busy but it doesn't get you anywhere".

Shiny shoes

Happy feet

I wouldn't have trusted The Gray Man (Albert Fish) either.

Invest in decent shoes and a decent bed.
When you're not in one, you're usually in the other.

Try not to fart in your local. http://tulsatrot.travellerspoint.com/58/

Try not to fart in your local. http://tulsatrot.travellerspoint.com/58/

Wise words I have educated my Brother in Law with;

"Sometimes say nothing"

1) Never eat anything that you can't pronounce.

2) When out on an all-day sesh, never drink anything with an ABV above 5 %, as this will mean you going hungry (see #1)

Never eat in a place that has pictures of the food outside or on the walls or windows ( a stylish, well lit photograph in a well put together leather bound menu is acceptable).