Post subject: Re: Funny/interesting things you've found on the internet #6
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:31 pm
gutterfax
International Board Member
Joined: Aug 13 2003 Posts: 20966 Location: The Shaky Isles
The Global Political Landscape explained....with cows!
SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive...
dally messenger wrote:was watching an nfl doco. on one of their teams and they used the term bomb to describe those long high passes from quaterback to running back and i think gibson took that idea, realized you cant throw the ball forward in RL and adapted it to a "bomb" kick we have
eels fan wrote:You poor poor obsessed fat ex vichyballin potato thieving stoaway.
Post subject: Re: Funny/interesting things you've found on the internet #6
Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:02 pm
McClennan
International Chairman
Joined: Dec 22 2001 Posts: 27757 Location: In rocket surgery
If you've seen Waking Life, Alex Jones is the guy that gives Wiley a lift in his car. Think this must be the first time I've seen him given the opportunity to speak on prime time TV. Might be the last too lol. www.inforwars.com for his website and not all of it is rubbish. I'm not sure he's driven by the Tea Party kind of ideology though, think he's more of a distrust of government i.e. that it's about power and control not democracy and the people.
If you've seen Waking Life, Alex Jones is the guy that gives Wiley a lift in his car. Think this must be the first time I've seen him given the opportunity to speak on prime time TV. Might be the last too lol. www.inforwars.com for his website and not all of it is rubbish. I'm not sure he's driven by the Tea Party kind of ideology though, think he's more of a distrust of government i.e. that it's about power and control not democracy and the people.
BBC wrote:St Helens, due to move out of their 120-year-old ground at the end of the season, desperately wanted to mark the occasion with a victory in front of a full house.... And Wigan were left celebrating inside the enemy camp for the first time since September 2003.
Post subject: Re: Funny/interesting things you've found on the internet #6
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:32 pm
cod'ead
International Chairman
Joined: May 25 2002 Posts: 37704 Location: Zummerzet, where the zoider apples grow
the cal train wrote:
Sorry but John Holmes, sporting a semi, wouldn't hang that low
The older I get, the better I was
Advice is what we seek when we already know the answer - but wish we didn't
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full-frontal lobotomy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ kirkstaller wrote: "All DNA shows is that we have a common creator."
cod'ead wrote: "I have just snotted weissbier all over my keyboard & screen"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin." - Aneurin Bevan
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