I would suggest the kids give diving a swerve. Yorkshire police are cutting the number of police divers from 29 across 3 centres to 10 based in Hull. Tom Daley is not one of them.

Do we take it from this that to date police divers have been rampantly overstaffed? Or is it true that an average of 2 on duty to cover the whole of Yorkshire at any given time is sufficient?

G4S will no doubt set up a diving section, to cover such eventualities.

Mind you, it's not just the public sector that make such pisspotical decisions. British Gas have a dog handler, just in case they need to enter a property that has a dog (of all things) living there. That's ONE dog handler for the whole of the UK and he's based in Liverpool. So if they have a warrant to enter premises in Penzance and they know there's a dog there, they call on this guy in Liverpool. He toddles off down to Penzance, they enter the premises and he sits and talks to a poodle, then goes back home again.

Re the dog handler I wonder if I can top that. I travelled to Canada, at public expense, to do 3 hours work and fly back the next day. Mention nothing of the 8 hours on the razz that followed the work

How often do you think British Gas need a dog handler? I would guess that your comment about the poodle is a little wide of the mark, or he's going to be working 24/7 given the amount of dogs the general public own.

The anticipated boom in attendances for women's football didn't materialise as just 289 people turned up to watch Doncaster Belles defeat to Everton. Their pre-Olympics average was over 500.

If anyone's to blame for that then it's Doncaster Belles. You may not be able to make a horse drink, but you have to seize every opportunity to lead it to water. If they can't market their games on the back of the Olympics then that's their problem, they can't just expect people to roll up in droves 'cos there was some women's football on the telly.