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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:07 pm 
Club Coach
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Location: one day closer to death
Dally wrote:Sick lovers.

I tried to say "Sick bathtubs" or similar.

'Sick barstools' works better.

Can't help thinking this could be a bit nasty if the wife is involved in a really gruesome car crash.



Or is a suicide bomber.

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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:36 pm 
Player Coach
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Joined: Feb 12 2009
Posts: 1521
I'm surprised that nobody has cracked the old dead wife joke.
" The sex is the same, but the ironing is piling up."

Ahh yes, the Arab Spring. Get rid of a dictator, and bring in the Muslim Brotherhood. Egypt will be a no-go country in 5 years.

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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:24 pm 
International Chairman
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Rock God X wrote:They'll ruin the flooring if they wear them in the house.


Too bloody true, especially the kitchen floor - I always know when my two daughters are back in the house again after a night out on a Friday & Saturday because the next morning their stilleto's (anything between 4" and 6") will be at the back door - I've banned them from walking across the kitchen in them and told the dog he's doing the door for when they come in at stupid o'clock the next morning :lol:






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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:39 pm 
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What about a law in Egypt to stop lasses from getting an education ?






Science flies people to the moon. Religion flies people into buildings.

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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:58 pm 
All Time Great
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Live Wired wrote:I'm surprised that nobody has cracked the old dead wife joke.
" The sex is the same, but the ironing is piling up."

Ahh yes, the Arab Spring. Get rid of a dictator, and bring in the Muslim Brotherhood. Egypt will be a no-go country in 5 years.


Must admit, I was wondering about this the other day, about whether or not I have time to visit the pyramids etc.






"You are working for Satan." Kirkstaller

"Dare to know!" Immanuel Kant

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive" Elbert Hubbard

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde

The Voluptuous Manifesto – thoughts on all sorts of stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:19 pm 
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Meanwhile mortuary attendants are complaining about 'sloppy seconds'!
I'll get me coat!






"Arguably the best Rugby League side certainly in the last 40 years!" Phil Clarke.

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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:56 pm 
All Time Great
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Only problem is it takes 7 hours to unwrap the bandages :)






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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:27 pm 
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Hutchie wrote:Only problem is it takes 7 hours to unwrap the bandages :)


Haha, mumification revival.






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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:51 am 
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Mintball wrote:Must admit, I was wondering about this the other day, about whether or not I have time to visit the pyramids etc.


Go. We have seen most of the Egyptian sites and they are awesome, especially the Egyptian museum in Cairo and Karnac, well worth adding to your bucket list.






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 Post subject: Re: Farewell intercourse law
PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:37 pm 
In The Arms of 13 Angels
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Reminds of the old English couple who retired to a little house in France, growing their own veg and buying wine and other comestibles in the local market.
The years went by in gentle decline and, one day, the old girl passed peacefully away.

The old boy decided to do her proud and booked the undertaker and the glass hearse drawn by four black horses with black plumes, to have her buried in the local churchyard beneath the swaying cypresses.
He had a black suit and black shoes ... but then realised he didn't have a top hat.

Now, his French had never been brilliant and here he made a mistake ... instead of Chapeau Anglais (Top Hat) he thought it was Capote Anglaise (English Cape ... slang for Condom).

He asked the neighbour where he could get one and got the answer "A la Pharmacie".

He thought it was strange but it was that kind of village, everyone had more than one job, the postman was also the policeman ... maybe the chemist was a hatter as well.

He went into the pharmacie and up to the counter, burnished by thousands of striped elbows.
Ding-a-ding !! and the chemist appeared ...
"Oui M'sieur?".
Out comes the schoolboy French "Je voudrais une capote Anglaise".
"Oui m'sieur ... seulement UNE capote anglaise?"
"Er ... oui"
"... et m'sieur ... quelle couleur?"
"Ah ... er ... noir s'il vous plait"
"Oui m'sieur ... et ... " with a knowing look here "pourquoi noir m'sieur?
"Parce ce que ma femme est mort"

"AAaaah ... bien m'sieur .... c'est vrais ... les Anglaises ... quelle finesse !!!"






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