I remember an ex-employee many years ago who had made a complete cock-up of a job for me. When I questioned the bizarre way he'd approached it, which bore no resemblance to the conventional methods adopted or that he'd been taught in the expensive training he'd had, he said "well there's more than one way of doing things, isn't there?". I replied on along the lines that I agreed, but that only works if you actually get things right not produce a muddled mess. Another stupid defence and I was getting really angry, bearing in mind the job was as simple as they get. So in a rage I pointed out of the window where the local alcoholics were gathered and said, "I could have gone down there, got someone off the street, explained exactly what to do like I did to you and they'd probably have done a better job wouldn't they?" He gobsmacked me by answering "Yes"
(not sarcastically either).

We play bullSh1t bingo at work it's quite hilarious!

Favourites include 'traction' 'touch base' 'end of play' 'low hanging fruit' 'safeguard' 'on your radar' 'circle that back' also our desks were referred to as 'pods' today

What business was this, the mafia?

He now , 'swims with the fishes.'

I think the expression is 'sleeps with the fishes'.
As in 'dead'.

You are correct, and I hate being wrong!

You should be used to it by now!

I agree, although I partly blame it on having such a vast and varied general knowledge. I got Abu Hamza and Quatada mixed up the other day.

Work in retail, you get them on a daily basis.
"if you can't deal with difficult customers, go to ellsmere port, fit car doors for a living" is my favourite of our store managers.

There's also something wonderfully funny about a Mancunian constantly saying customers will "go mad for it" (complete with a mime of someone surfing) when a new offer comes up.

"don't get mad, get even"
"be the best in town"
"if it's in the building it's on the shelf"
"customers can't buy empty space"