I used to have a boss who was always 'boiling the ocean', 'eating an elephant', 'spinning plates', or some other such rubbish. He was one of the few people I've heard use cliches like that who hasn't been a total cock.

I have American colleagues who don't "get in touch", "phone" or "contact" anyone ... noooo, they "reach out".

Every time I see or hear the phrase, I hear The Four Tops in my head.



Oh, yeah, and we don't "inform" anyone, we "call it out" to people.



I am thinking of changing my name to "Who's just joined?".

On conference calls I could cause havoc.

"There's light at the end of the tunnel."



Every phone call..."Hello Rob speaking"



Also, if he asks anybody to stay behind for longer, he'll always say "it'll benefit your upskilling". His most used line is "is it will or skill?".



He's also one for quotations, often saying "A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner", sometimes changing sea to race and mariner to jockey.

You MUST work for the same mob I do

Yes I know you've got 20 extra hours on your rota but we're plaiting fog here with all the sickness so you'll have to do it!



Well, sorry but stop trying to plait fog and try recruiting staff who are up to the job instead!



or



We really appreciate how hard you've worked over the last few months



really meaning, we don't know what we'd have done without you because no one else would take that one on and it made us a lot of money, sorry we can only pay you the normal e wage but there ya go

"Let's come at this with a blue sky thinking approach"



and a more common one that I totally over use is to add ".... in the first instance" onto the end of everything.