...or put a tie on.

Be that as it may... well done Neil. You truly deserve it!

Indeed - all in all, a pretty poor show from Box.

On another matter - Jane McDonald; would you?

Are you asking her or me?

He's just stashing some more letters away from Richard Wright.

I was actually making a topical joke about Channel 5's latest journey into the depths of depravity, but I realise it's died on its ar5e.

Funny you should ask; apparently, the answer is no.

I was a young student, working in the summer of '88 as a skivvy for Alan (Les) Parker at the Stanley Arms, where he ran his theatrical agency from the cellar. According to legend, I was asked out by this up-and-coming singist and I turned her down. What a wise choice. Just imagine still traipsing around working men's clubs in the north of England after all these years.

In fact, my highlight of that summer was answering the phone to Elvis Costello's dad, musician and band leader Ross McManus, who unfortunately died last month. He was most popularly known for the song from the R. White's Lemonade advert.


Anyway. Well done and congratulations to Sir Neil. You've done us proud, as ever.

Who'da thunk that my rubbish joke about Matthew Wright would've thrown up that little gem of a story!

I think you have Jane and Trevor mixed up!!!

I'd make a right mess of her hair.