Thats my family Kay, thats not me.

What I'm looking for is someone who can contribute to what England has given to the world: culture, sophistication, genius. A little bit more than an 'ot dog, know what I mean?

The Mafia? I've poop 'em.

Erroll: Well, he don't like Colin. I mean, queers get right up his hooter, you know?
Harold: After what happened this morning, you'd have to find his hooter to get up it.
Erroll: Is something up with him, then?
Harold: Well, let's put it this way. Apart from his asshole being about fifty yards away from his brains, and the choirboys playing "'unt the thimble" with the rest of him, he ain't too happy


Pool Attendant: They kept it all incognito. They're gonna collect the body in an ice cream van.
Harold: There's a lot of dignity in that, isn't there? Going out like a raspberry ripple.

I'm glad I found out in time just what a partnership with a pair of wankers like you would've been. A sleeping partner's one thing, but you're in a loving coma!


All from one of the best films of all time, The Long Good Friday

Jesus Christ! ..................... That's Jason Bourne.

or

What have the Romans ever done for us ?

or

Get away from her, YOU BITCH !

One for our very own greed is good Sin Binners.

Blake: Glengarry Glen Ross.

That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you'd make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a sho!t. Good father? Fook you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you c0cksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you've got and make $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise. A-I-D-A. Get mad you son of a bitches. You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate. Go and do likewise gents. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If you're not gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying - a bunch of losers sittin' around in a bar. 'Oh yeah. I used to be a salesman. It's a tough racket.' These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fooking @rse because a loser is a loser.

Then he goes and has his brother topped.

Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that f*cking dumb-a*s smile off your rosey, f*cking, cheeks! And you can give me a f*cking automobile: a f*cking Datsun, a f*cking Toyota, a f*cking Mustang, a f*cking Buick! Four f*cking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of f*cking nowhere with f*cking keys to a f*cking car that isn't f*cking there. And I really didn't care to f*cking walk, down a f*cking highway, and across a f*cking runway to get back here to have you smile in my f*cking face. I want a loving car RIGHT F*CKING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You're f*cked!

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum"

"The first rule of fight club, you don't talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club, YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

"A waffer thin mint Monsieur?"

"Sit down and shut up you big bald f@ck!"

(sorry if it this is already on here, couldn't be bothered to check)

Another couple of favourite from the same movie:

"Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c@nt... me."

and one particularly relevant to some of the posters on this website:

"You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity."