We need his photo for the hunks thread. And McLaren Field's. Who's the other one, again?

When is the duck back?

Not too sure, his proposed and actual departure date could be influenced by the weather that New York is currently engaged in.

Can Geese fly the Atlantic?

Sick is a good one. The act of vomiting is being sick, but you feel ill. Therefore, if you are at sea you may feel ill and be sick. However, you would never feel sick and be "ill" as in vomit. Vomit itself is a bit of a no-no.

He was there for a Hallowe'en party and flew on Friday. I bet he's gone for a week.

McLaren_Field's judgement...

OK, this is how I shall do it, marks out of five for each course compared side by side...

Starter
Newcastle : Sausage roll of dubious filling : score 3
Hull Utd : Whitby scallops with sausage and dressing : score 3

The sausage roll won't ever score more than 3 for me because the pastry kills me, the dubious filling is irrelevant because someone who asks what goes into a sausage roll doesn't deserve to have one.

The scallops would have scored more but for the tarting up, the spicy sausage would be binned from my plate and the drizzled dressing will distract from the scallops - serve scallops on there own, fresh from the sea on Whitby harbour wall.

Main Course
Newcastle : Sweet Chilli Chicken Pie : score 3
Hull Utd : Venison with mashed spuds and braised cabbage : score 4

If the ockers had gone for any other meat but chicken then they'd have scored better, I had a bad experience with a chicken pie when I was six years old and can't look one in the face again, pies are a good call though.

The venison sounds wonderful, rare but tender, I don't do mashed potatoes even with a fancy name but things are looking up with the braised red cabbage, a much under-rated way to serve this much under-rated veg, the sweet sauce meets with approval too as does the chocolate beer, throw the spuds away and there's nothing to dislike here.

Pudding
Newcastle : Vanilla Slice : score 5
Hull Utd : Rhubarb Cake : score 2

They have by pure chance picked the most favourite of my sweet dishes, vanilla slice, I would only eat vanilla slice for every meal to the total exclusion of all other foodstuff if I could, I only question their fluffy pink icing instead of the proper sticky white glaze icing but I forgive them their error for full amrks.

I hate rhubarb, I have nothing more to add.

So I reckon thats 11-9 to the convicts at the moment but there is one more thing to judge - the booze.

Australia does not have a good reputation for beer over here, we have suffered decades of drinking pi$$-poor lagers labelled as "beer", Fosters, Castlemaine XXXX, no I'm sorry, premium prices for ice cold urine is not a good starting point - having said that I have not tried Tooheys Hunter Old but I will give the benefit of the doubt because they have at least gone for a dark beer which sounds as though it has not had its natural elements brewed and filtered out of it - but its bottled, bad choice boys, beer should be pulled out of the keg, no additional gas and no chilling.

Hull Utd have gone for some divine sounding beers (I shall ignore the wine, I don't do wine), the sweet light beer for starters, the chocolate beer for the main which will compliment perfectly the venison, let down slightly by the final choice which sounds a little heavy for a pudding accompaniment - I would have gone for the lemon and lime beer that I had last week even though it tasted like washing up liquid.

Scores for the beer
Newcastle : 2
Hull : 4

Its a cop-out, its a draw.

So it is 1.5-0.5. I'm seeing a flaw in my '3 judges guarantees a result' plan. Hull United is guaranteed a draw at least. Nail-biting, eh?

So what happens if its a draw? Do both teams vote someone off?

I get the deciding vote.

That bloody vanilla slice! Knew it! Full marks to Sandra, though.

He failed to give marks for setting/ambience, although, probably to our benefit, as crap as it looks at their pokey little restaurant, it looks lovely weather and I can quite imagine the shorn headed Mr Field hating any music that's performed solely on Piano.