My dad has just got the last train home from a night out in Manchester.

If he's anything like my dad he'll bring you a pizza, give you £20 and repeat the same craic constantly.

Either that or sack it up some concrete stairs and break his ribs

I could just eat a Pizza.

Father/Son sports day should be a doddle if you get a downhill track...

Don't get me started, when I wa nowt but a Bern....

Them kids on bus nowadays, could have killed one of em other week for putting his music right next to window whilst thinking he was M and M and talking/rapping.

Wa tempted to chuck him out of the window, but it was a double decker, so I was kind

I'm also going to be an ace Dad but I want a decent mother. So that means I won't be a Dad anytime soon.

I'll just rock up in the Brabus van.

So you from Cas then?

I'm going to have kids with a girlfriend/wife me.

I reckon I'd make an excellent dad.

Yeah... for an ASBO