does any body know how far the train station is from the ground

It's less than a mile.....maybe 3/4 of a mile.

are there any fax fans going down from newcastle on the train on saturday? im scared of getting the train on my own

Alan Shearer,,oh no, he's on a road to nowhere

ive heard funnier jokes from ken dodd

Have you heard the one about Chelsea FC's new shirt sponsor, Lastminute.com ?

id want to air some of my favourite bernard manning gags but im scared of getting reprimanded once more!

Don't then !!! We've probably heard 'em all anyway.

What about the Chelsea FC sat nav device that's tells you you're only two minutes from reaching your final destination in Rome ?

2 antennae got married.

The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great.

See, you don't need to imitate uncle Bernard to give us rubbish jokes, you're doing just fine.