8 reasons why vodka is better for woman then willies...

1) vodka is always stiff
2) it doesnt look smaller in the cold
3) it last as long as you want it to
4) vodka doesnt prod u in the back in the mornings
5) you dont care how down your throat it goes
6) u can have as many vodka's as you like in 1 nite without bein called a slapper!
7) u can enjoy a vodka in front of your mum
vodka is always a pleasure 2 swallow!

My wife has been lying to me for years.

Every morning when I go to work she tells me she's leaving me, then when I come home, she's still F'ckin there

2 irish couples agree to swap partners for the night. After 3 hrs of amazing sex paddy says " i wonder how the girls are getting on" ..

I thought these were supposed to be BAD jokes

Bloke says to his wife "why dont you ever tell me when u are having an orgasm"? She says " i dont like ringing u when u are at work!"

They are..

After sponging off society all of his life and sending regular sick notes in, never doing a full week and basically being a useless scrounger it was inevitable that Louis Saha would end up in Liverpool.

Whats 13ins long, silver and probably the worse thing you find at the bottom of your daughters bed?.....













Gary Glitters boots!!

Paddy buys a bath takes it back next day complaining water keeps running out. Manager says " did u buy a plug for it?" Paddy says " you never said it was electric!"

I asked our lass this morning if she was faking it last night.

Turns out she wasn't, she really was asleep