jesus walks into the village hotel,
he throws three nails on the counter and says,
excuse me, can you put me up for the night...

Chris Evans and Russell Brand walk into a pub.

Wankers

i bet you get done for sayin that.....



you should of said ......merchant bankers.

An old Nick Hancock joke from TTIAO circa 2003

"Chris Evans is a typical Warrington lad, jobless and married to a teenager"

A man goes golfing with his girlfriend.
As he tees off, she steps up to the ladies' tee and gets hit in the head with his drive.
She is pronounced D.O.A. and taken to the morgue.
The coroner calls him in and says, "She definitely died from a blow to the head caused by the golf ball. But the only thing we can't understand is why was there a golf ball in her rectum?"

"Oh," he replies, "that must have been my mulligan."

Black woman all over the world are shaving their pubic hair in support of Obama's election result. There message to the world is : "Read our lips- No more bush"

eres one

a bloke went into the doctors and said "doctor doctor"
"me d**k is shaped like a rocket"
the doctor went " what does your wife fink?"
the bloke said " oh shes over the moon"

How many scousers does it take to change a lightbulb?

20: 1 to replace the broken lightbulb, 19 to hold a minute's silence for the old one.

Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?

He got stuck in Orbit!