Dear Mr McDermott

F**K OFF Now

Yours sincerely

Leeds Rhinos

Dear Mr Mc Dermott,

This is the third letter I have written to you this season as my Dad can't answer my questions I asked at tonight's game.

1) Do you coach Lee Smith to drop the ball? If you do, he's very good at it.

2) Why does Ryan Bailey run sideways into the nearest Bradford player when he could have run straight for another 5 yards.

3) Does Ali get extra money for passing to the opposition

4) When you let Luke and Ben go you said we had better performing props. Are they Amor and Ambler? Should they be at Leeds?

5) As you keep making strange team changes I have one for next week. My Gran can catch, she can pass to the right team and she's thinner than Lee Smith.

6) My primary school team need a game next week. If you train hard this week you should stand a good chance. We'll still own Bailey!

If you struggle with the written word you can pass the answers onto my Uncle Jack who works at The Job Centre.

Yours

Little Rhino B

When you don't respond to an initial request the impatient senders tend to follow up their first letter with a red letter reminder.

Dear Mr McDermott

F**K OFF Now

Yours sincerely

Leeds Rhinos

Dear Brian (2) ?

I thought you'd have been upto dear Brian (10) by now.

can't they just open the doors(in flight) and throw him from the plane that will settle it

Dear Mr McDermott,

I know you are a very busy man coaching our team but Dad thinks that you spend your time trying to organise a mickey up in a brewery. He doubts that you'll ever finish.
What is a chocolate fire guard and have you got one. Dad says you are as useless as one.
Have you got a whole in your bottom? Dad says that you'll not make a coach as long as you got one and he'll show his in Boots window if we win anything this year.
Please reply to this as Dad says that the only thing that you and Mr Lowes will be doing is scratching your bum and armpits and eating bananas until you are sacked.

Yours

Little Rhino Bucs

Dear Mr Bradford McDermott.

Please phone either Mr Noble Mr Murray Mr Millward Mr elliot or My anderson and offer them a Job

Then Please push Mr Lowes onto you sword then take him off and fall on it yourself.